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List O' shitty movies [Oct. 25th, 2006|10:41 am]
Rollerball - I want my two hours back!
Summer Catch - I think a cup of warm piss could've acted better than anyone in that movie
House of the Dead - this movie could have been made better by a five year old off of his ritalin. Uwe Boll sucks and will box you if you don't like his movies.
Bats - fromage anyone?
Baby Geniuses - My little brother wanted to see it. I am stunned Jon Voight was in the sequel, but he's always in crappy movies
Battlefield Earth - yes, 1000+ year old planes can be flown by cavemen.
The third and fourth Batman Movies - directed by Joel Shittymoviemaker
Any Police Academy movie - The first one was ok, but the rest were cruel and unusual punishment
No Hold Barred - maybe if they had a monkey, this movie would have been better
Phantoms - Ok, Afleck was Dabomb in Phantoms, but Phantoms was a bomb!
Jawbreaker - this was no Mean Girls
Idle Hands - Jessica Alba was in this but that doesn't make it good
Back to the Beach - What the hell? Fishbone was in this movie?
Meet the Deedles - I wish I didn't
The Stepford Wives (2004) - made no sense whatsoever
Gremlins 2 : the new batch - Bad
The Animal - Badder
Eight-legged freaks - might have been bette if they called it Arac-Attack
The Country Bears - Didn't like them when I went to disney, loathe them on the big screen
Boxing Helena - This has nothing to do with boxing
Even Cowgirls get the blues - so did I after seeing this load of doo-doo
A dirty Shame - I will never understand or like John Waters, Serial Mom was cool though...
Look who's Talking 3 - not that the other two were gems, but this make brain hurt
Robocop 3 - same coment as Look who's talking 3

I'm sure there are many, many more, but I'm not wasting anymore time on this...
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(no subject) [Oct. 12th, 2006|11:11 am]
[Current Location |dungeon]
[mood |awake]
[music |Me first and the Gimme Gimmes - Crazy]

I had a weird dream about my little brother leaving home and the transformers, Seaspray in particular. You know, the guy who talks all gurgly? It got me thinking they don't have any gay transformers. They would probably be convertibles who talk with a lisp and they would have no real weapons of any kind. Then it got me thinking, D&D doesn't promote the use of gay characters as well. I guess there are elves, but no real flamboyant classes dedicated to homosexuals. If I ever get back into that (and that's a big IF!) I'm going to create a gay character and give him a magical tickle feather of smiting +1, +3 against homophobes. I wonder what advantages they would have... a greater chance of attacking from behind? I'd have to do a roll for attempting a come on against a fellow adventurer. The ability to turn sexual preferance? They could total change the face of the game if they can factor this in...
Phase II of this years car repairs are complete, which included a gas tank, some new plastics in the front tire wells and a replacement of an evap sensor thingy so my check engine light will stop coming on. Next phase will deal with the front strut mounts and the car should be good until next summer. This thing will have cost me over $3000 in repairs and maintenance this year when all is done. New car next year! yay!
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Mo'tor better blues [Jul. 15th, 2006|10:58 am]
[Current Location |Garage]
[mood |sadsad]
[music |In the Garage - Weezer]

Cars are like children. You get one and they are all shiny and new, everyone pays attention to you and life is fun and exciting. Then they get older and leach money off you until you've had enough and kick them to the curb. People then make fun of you because your car is crappy. After I put $550 into it, I needed another $2000 in other repairs. I basically said screw that and took it out of that garage. After pondering about it over last weekend, I called up my cousin and he was able to do the work for half of what they were gonna charge me. Stupid Car has cost me about $1700 this month to bring it back from the dead. I expect to put in another $1000 over the next year, most likely more before I replace it with a shiny new one next year, which currently is the logical choice since I don't think I can handle a an extra monthly payment right now. Had to get Air conditioning in the house this month too. Money is gonna suck for the next few months so I can pay these things off quickly. I think I'm gonna shop around for house\car inssurance in order to lower those payments to ease the money pains. Once again, Cars suck.
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Bruce's Car, RIP? [Jul. 3rd, 2006|11:20 pm]
The future of my car may be in jeopardy after it kinda exploded a little bit earlier today. I think it was on fire at one point as the thingy that I put coolant in is melted slightly. The car is fixable, but do I really want to suffer through another year with this thing? Anywho, it'll take about $300 clams to fix which means around $500 in mechanic money and since this is the beginning of what will turn out to be many expenses that the car will demand for the next year or so, I should just cut my loses now and get that pretty new car I was going to get next summer this summer instead. Or, a pretty older car but newer than the one I have. Sadly, I may have to sacrifice my summer trip out to the eastern provinces and push that to next year. At least if I move that to next year, i'll be able to factor in Newfoundland.
Oh, and for those who don't know, Superman is a deadbeat dad.
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Superman Returns! [Jun. 28th, 2006|12:14 pm]
[Current Location |fortress of solitude]
[mood |Super?]
[music |Superman Song - crash test dummies]

Somehow, he looks different. Movie should be better than X3, that's for sure.
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Things I discovered this week [Jun. 23rd, 2006|10:45 am]
I get more calls from rogers in a week than my own family
Women generally don't approve of foreskin
Homeless people never beg for money at intersections when it rains
My new name is "613 Bruce"
Air conditioning is a nessasary evil
My house is not a home for troubled teens
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Government testing and all the fun it can be [Jun. 17th, 2006|11:09 am]
[Current Location |Out to pasture]
[mood |grazing]

I'm not sure if it is rabbit season or duck season, but it most certainly is Government test season. I just wrote one this morning and i'm almost positive it will have nothing to do with the actual job that I applied for. Really, these are designed to weed out the complete idiots from the brood of animals out there and since i'm just a partial idiot, I should make the cut. Then I'll self-destruct in the next hoop they want me to jump through. Anywho, if anyone has some time to kill and you like brain teaser type things, check out the practice tests...

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Cartoons I Like [Jun. 11th, 2006|11:44 pm]
[Current Location |Astrolab]

1. The Transformers (1984-1986)
Not the new "Energon" or "Armada" crap, the classic stuff. Once they did that movie though in 1986, this series became unwatchable.
2. Cowboy Bebop (1998)
This is one of the best Anime that has come out of Japan. It had a few stray episodes that blew chunks but the bulk of the series was amazing.
3. Undergrads (2001)
Sadly this was a one season wonder (common fate of most cartoon series) but they keep airing it on teletoon over and over.
4. Clone High (2001)
Yes, Famous people are dug up and the DNA was used for cloning - then all the clones go to the same high school. Contains a bloodbath of a holiday special that they can't air anymore.
5. Robotech(1985-1986)
This was a few anime series canibalized into one for North America to devour. It was pretty cool at the time (they actually killed characters off) with the series progressing in three sections: Macross, Masters and New Generation. The first was the best, I'd give the other two a miss.
6. The Simpsons (1989- present)
One of the longest running series ever, Cameos up the ying-yang.
7. The Venture Bros. (2004)
This is one of the more risque series made for television. Things have been done and said in this series that are just plain wrong... Go Team Venture!
8. Berserk (1997)
One of the bloodiest Anime series I have ever seen but like almost all anime, they come up lame in the end story-wise.
9. Family guy (1999-present)
Stewie is Gay.
10. South Park (1997- present)
Cartman is my role model.
11. Hellsing (2002)
Vampire anime with an awesome title character. Very well done but the vampires seem to carry non-traditional powers that take away from the series.
12. Duckman (1994-1997)
Jason Alexander did the voice of the title character and the series pumped out around 70-80 episodes. Very impressive since noboy has really heard of this show.
13. Trigun (1998)
An Anime with a bit of a fluffy side to it. A very cool universe set up for this series though but with a typical crappy anime series ending.
14. The Tick (1994-1997)
Finally coming to DVD for the end of the summer. Spoon!
15. Exo-Squad (1993-1995)
A cool Sci-Fi series that that was basically about humans being overthrown by their genetic slave cast that they created (kinda like battlestar galactica) and fighting to reclaim their planets.
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Slave to the Grind [Jun. 10th, 2006|12:08 am]
[Current Location |In The Garage]
[mood |hungryhungry]
[music |Weezer - In The Garage]

Another week, another paycheck. Other than getting my term renewed for another year, I I get a $800 pay increase per year starting June 21st as part of some agreement. I think I also get an annual increase starting in July which would be for about $1000 per year. It's so neat how money makes us just a little bit happier. Cats don't care about money. Do Vampires care about money? I'm not sure about that one but I guess if they pay taxes they do. I had a flashback about a resume I saw when I was hiring at the movie theatre a couple of years ago. This dude had "cowboy" written in as a job title he once had. I almost set up an Interview just to see what this guy was like. But alas, I did not. I'm quite impressed I didn't tie this in with any Brokeback Mountain references at all. I think I'm gonna go BBQ some hamburgers in my garage again. Have a nice day!
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I am the Spleen! [Jun. 3rd, 2006|01:43 am]
[Current Location |at home, stupid!]
[mood |pleasedpleased]

At work today, i let one of the most disgusting farts loose that I've ever cut. It was just nasty. It caused many interesting faces of horror, had a radius of about 15 feet and a lasting power of five minutes. I had to take full credit for this (although the cheap ham I had in a sandwich earlier in the evening deserve some of the accolades) and it has quickly become one of the most cherished moments of my life. Here is what the room looked like in a not-so-much in scale picture.

I'm the dude in Red in the top lefthand corner. We had six people at print stations working, one person logging and assigning passports and one person changing a printer in the station next to me.

The first person was taken out after one minute was the lovely lady changing the printer. She made a few funny looks and was most effected by it all. Her first reaction was to the person those printer she was changing whom she thought farted at first. Little did she know...

Second minute took out the person below me and beside me. I turn around and face outward so my ass is facing the corner in order to muffle the impact. It was too late at this point.

In the third minute three more people were compromised to bring the death toll to six. The remaining two were wise on what was going on and fled to safe areas. At this point I laid claim to what was probably my greatest achievement in creation to date. Besides, they would have fingered me eventually due to the layout of the room and the direction that the unsavory smell was heading. The smell (which was quite rancid) managed to linger another couple of minutes before dissipating. Discussion on this event raged on for a good two hours afterward only stopping due to the end of the work shift.

This moment had quite an impact on the evening on so many levels. It brought people closer together and gave me a keen sense of accomplishment I could have only dreamed of before. Somehow, a good thing came from this.
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